Deflate, Soothe & Reset Your Gut With Green Tea

Deflate, Soothe & Reset Your Gut With Green Tea

Most people brew green tea wrong.

Then they wonder why it doesn't work.

Here's how to actually do it:


The Basics (Get These Right or Don't Bother)

1. TEMPERATURE: 175°F / 80°C (NOT BOILING)

This is the #1 mistake everyone makes.

  • Boiling water (212°F / 100°C) = destroys the catechins, makes it bitter, kills the benefits
  • Too cool (<160°F / 70°C) = weak brew, minimal extraction, won't feel it

How to get it right:

  • Boil water, then let it cool for 3-5 minutes before pouring
  • OR use a kettle with temperature control (set to 175°F / 80°C)
  • OR mix 2/3 boiling water with 1/3 cold water

Test: If your green tea tastes bitter and awful, your water is too hot.


2. TIMING: 2-3 MINUTES (NOT LONGER)

  • Less than 2 minutes = too weak, you won't get enough extraction
  • More than 3 minutes = bitter, undrinkable, you'll hate it

Set a timer. Don't guess.


3. STRENGTH: 2 TEASPOONS LOOSE LEAF OR 2 TEA BAGS PER CUP

This reset requires STRONG green tea. Not the sad, pale yellow water most people drink.

  • 1 teaspoon or 1 tea bag = too weak for this reset
  • 2 teaspoons loose leaf OR 2 quality tea bags per cup = what you need

Your tea should be a deep yellow-green color, not pale and wimpy.


4. QUALITY: BUY DECENT TEA (IT MATTERS)

Cheap tea bags from the supermarket = minimal catechins, stale, won't work well.

What to look for:

  • Loose leaf green tea (best option)
  • OR high-quality tea bags (organic, fresh, reputable brands)
  • Look for: sencha, gyokuro, or Chinese green tea (not flavored, not blended with other stuff)

Where to buy: Health food stores, tea shops, or online. Don't cheap out - you're doing this for 7 days, spend the $15-20 on good tea.


The Morning Routine (Step-by-Step)

Step 1: Wake up, don't eat anything yet

Green tea works best on an empty stomach. Food interferes with absorption and reduces the gut motility effect.


Step 2: Boil water, let it cool to 175°F / 80°C

While it's cooling, get your tea ready.

I usually pour it into my flask or cup and then do something for a minute or 2 while it cools.


Step 3: Brew your first cup

  • 2 teaspoons loose leaf OR 2 tea bags
  • Pour 175°F water over tea
  • Steep for 2-3 minutes (set a timer)
  • Remove tea bags/strain loose leaf

Step 4: Drink it

Enjoy it (or at least tolerate it). It can taste pretty bitter, but that's all the potent botanicals.  You can brew it lighter, but I get the best results with a strong brew.


Step 5: Brew your second cup

Repeat the process. Two cups total within 30-60 minutes of waking up.


Common Questions

Q: Can I add honey or lemon?
A: Honey, no.  C'mon it's just 7 days. 

Lemon, heck yes! Lemon will improve the absorption of EGCG by over 10X. 

Q: Can I use matcha instead?
A: Yes, matcha works. Use 1-2 teaspoons whisked into hot (not boiling) water. Same rules apply.

Q: What if I hate the taste?
A: Brew it cooler and shorter. If it's too bitter, your water is too hot. If you still hate it, brew it lighter. Or just power through - it's 7 days.

Q: Can I drink it iced?
A: For this reset, hot is better (increases gut motility and metabolic effect). But iced is better than nothing if you absolutely can't do hot.

Q: Can I brew a big batch and reheat it?
A: No. Brew fresh each time. Reheated tea loses potency and tastes worse.

Q: What if I'm sensitive to caffeine?
A: Green tea has very little caffeine (5mg per cup when brewed right, vs 95mg in coffee). Most people are fine. But if you're very sensitive, stick to one cup instead of two, or stop by noon.


The Bottom Line

Get the temperature, timing, and strength right. Use decent tea. Drink it on an empty stomach.

Do that, and it works.

Fuck it up, and you're just drinking expensive hot leaf water that does nothing.


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